Strange bedfellows

Have I been making beds wrong my whole life?

I mean I know there is a basic way to make a bed. And just to clarify here I mean changing the sheets, not the act of pulling up the covers and straightening out the quilt or comforter. Unless you are one of those people who puts new sheets on their bed every day and in that case I guess I really do mean make the bed. (And I am suppressing a lot of snarky things I want to say right now. "If you don't have something nice to say Sarah, yea, yea, yea, I know ...)

So as I was saying, is it pretty obvious how to make a bed. So unless you are putting your pillows where you feet go or putting the fitted sheet on OVER the regular sheet you are most likely doing right. (And if you don't know what a fitting or regular sheet are, you are probably doing it wrong.)

It ain't rocket science people. Or brain surgery. Or insert-whatever-cliche-phrase-here when describing something that does not take much brain power.

So imagine my surprise when about six months ago I discovered there in fact WAS another way to make a bed. My mattress was totally flipped. (See what I did there? A little bed pun for ya. Although is it still a pun if you explain that it's a pun? Does that fall in the "If a tree falls in the woods" category? Hmmm, interesting ...)

MOVING on ...

You see back when I was young (let's say six or sevenish) I was taught how to put sheets on a bed. I am sure my mom taught me too, but I distinctly remember my grandma teaching me when my older sister and I went to stay with her for the weekend at her cottage. Learned the whole "hospital corners" thing and everything. And to this day whenever I change sheets at my house (don't worry it is a regular occurrence) I think of her.

So I thought I had the basic skills and knowledge down. I even got a handle on how to fold sheets. Even fitted sheets. Although it took an online tutorial and watching Martha Stewart show me on Oprah to really figure it out. And to be honest, I still only do it correctly about 25 percent of the time.

I don't really have any crazy ways of making the bed - I don't iron my sheets. I frankly don't know why anyone would. They are just going to get all wrinkly when you get into bed and they are covered up by a quilt or comforter anyway, so why bother? It would be like ironing a shirt when you are just going to put a sweater over top of it. Useless I say! So unless the Queen of England or Martha Stewart are coming over to stay at my house (the former being a preposterous possibility and I'm not sure I would even WANT the latter) I am not going to iron my sheets. I have WAY more important things to do. Like watching a rerun of "Friends" for the sixth time or obsessively check Facebook. (You laugh, but those are real things that I do.)

So imagine my surprise when I was putting brand new Hello Kitty sheets on my two-year-old brand new "big girl" bed and they appear to be upside down. Quite confusing to say the least. The little pink Hello Kitty faces were upside down when I put the sheet on the bed and so were the words "Hello Kitty" that were written on the end cap thingy of the sheet. (Wait, end cap thingy? Sarah, what is your deal? But you know the top part of the sheet that is folded over and hemmed .... oh, wait I'll just go look it up ... ok, I couldn't find what it is called, but you know what I mean.)

I was perplexed, confused, puzzled, which for any of you who know me, know doesn't take much, but still, how could this be?

The logic did eventually creep in and I realized that the way this sheet was made the pattern side was supposed to be facing down, not up like I had been doing for almost 30 years. Was it this one manufacturer that decided to turn the sheet industry on its ear, or could it be that maybe just maybe there was an alternate way to put sheets on a bed. Because honestly these were the first sheets I had used that had caused me to reevaluate my entire bed making method. (Not that I have purchased THAT many sheets in my day, but enough, ya know?)

So with this new knowledge my mind was a buzz .... Was I supposed be making beds this way (pattern side down) the entire time? Had my grandmother and mom taught me wrong? Were they bed making rebels? Or was it the other way around? Were those who put the pattern side down in the minority? Were we falling into a Yupp and Zupp situation here? (A little shout out from the "Butter Battle Book" for all your Dr. Seuss fans out there.)

Could we all peacefully coexist? Was I supposed to make my youngest daughter's bed differently because the sheets direct me to do so? So far I have not, but am I doing the sheets a disservice? Do sheets have feelings? Do sheets even care? Why do I even care so much? I don't know ... you really don't want to know what goes through my head sometimes ... you would probably think I should be committed. Maybe you think that now. Not that I would blame you.

I know I could probably watch LOTS of "Friends" reruns if I were ...

Oh, and by the way, changing sheets on a toddler's bed with side rails is VERY difficult, but put that bed with side rails five feet in the air (as in the loft bed we just got our six-year-old) and the degree of difficultly goes up by 10. I don't think you are supposed to work up a sweat putting new sheets on a twin bed.