Two-dimensionally challeneged

The other day my husband I were driving home from our last trip to our house up north before selling. We had traded our minivan (and our kids) for my in-laws 4x4 truck - not a bad trade if you ask me. About halfway through our trip back home my husband asked if I could take over driving. His back had been giving him fits and needed to be able to fidget more than his current position allowed (and probably more than his was legally able to as well).

Annny way .... we pulled over, I hopped out and then hopped in (if a five-foot-seven (oh who are we kidding here - five-foot-six-and-a-HALF) person can hop into a 4x4 truck). I will admit I was a little nervous about driving such a large vehicle. Before this the biggest thing I had driven was our mini van. We pulled out onto the freeway and I serpentine through the construction maze that is US 127 near Frandor, passed 496, passed 96 and southward to much less congested traffic.

As my confidence grew, a thought crossed my mind. I was driving around a slight curve, while passing another vehicle (all within the legal driving speed limits I swear Jim!) when I said "It's funny how I can drive a big truck like this, but when I play MarioKart I am all over the place." My husband laughed, but it's true.

Because you see my friends, I am two-dimensionally challenged. I can not play video games. Even ones as simple as driving a car down a road - something I do every day (and without crashing in to walls or trees too). I am hopeless.

Now I am not going to go on some rant and blame my parents for not getting me Nintendo when I was young or anything. I had video games - on the computer. I rocked "Where in the World is Carmen Santiago" and "Oregon Trail." But the truth of the matter is I simply wasn't interested. Still am not. It isn't interesting or exciting. When I do play I am either dying every other minute or my car is ramming the left side of the screen, then the right side and then the left side again. I just don't have the feel for it.

Sure, sure, practice, makes perfect and all that. If I kept trying I might get good and I might enjoy it, but eh, no ... it's just not for me. I just don't think my brain is wired like that. Nothing wrong with it, nothing against it, just not my cup of tea ... I prefer coffee

My husband - who does like to play, and IS good - has had to suffer through my ignorance and complete and total lack of skill. We have tried to play - I just get frustrated. We have tried simple games - I can bowl and play tennis on Wii - that is about it. That and the "Price is Right" - but really is that considered a real game? Sure, it puts money in corporate's pocket, but true gamers would probably laugh in my face if I told them I kicked ass at "Wheel of Fortune" for Wii. (And I wouldn't blame them.)

But there is light at the end of the bleak tunnel of gaming in our house  - the kiddos. Our kids have finally come to the age when they can start playing video games (age appropriate and fully supervised of course). So while I might be a lost cause, my husband can at least smash monster trucks with our oldest and race with Donkey Kong and Mario with our son. Plus they are better than me anyway.

One small consolation I will take from all this, is the response I got from my husband when we were driving home. "Well, if you are only good at one of them, I'm glad it's driving a car."

Thanks for the confidence hon, but if we pass by Luigi or Princess Pea we are in big trouble ...