Coffee, I love you, so why do you hurt me so?

I love coffee. I love it hot, cold, iced, blended - just put a little cream and sugar in it and I am good to go.

I also need coffee. Yes, I have become one of those obnoxious people who can't get their day started without a cup of Joe. You know all the Someecards and Facebook photos out there with a droopy-eyed dog looking pathetic and the caption reading "Someone needs her third cup of coffee?" Well, that someone is me.

I like coffee, I need coffee ... coffee is a wonderful thing.

Except when it is scalding hot and burns your tongue after the first sip rendering your taste buds useless for the rest of the day. Then I get a little p-o ed at coffee.

I want to drink it. As I look my big Grand Valley State University mug (go Lakers!) full of coffee and watch the steam rise off the lovely black liquid - mixed with just enough Splenda and CoffeeMate to turn in a light chocolaty color - all want to do is take a big satisfying slurp. But alas, I must not sip too soon or I will surely be punished. So I wait impatiently as my eyelids struggle to stay open and I can physically feel the energy draining from my body. I probably should just pop an ice cube in there or something ....

A piece of ice is not much help to me however when I am getting my favorite Cafe Mocha at Tim Horton's or getting a quick pick-me-me at a gas station. That is where I most recently got burned (literally and figuratively).

I get it, people like hot coffee. I am one of them. But why does it have to be so bleepity, bleepin' hot the second it comes out pot? It's not like coffee instantly cools. It is not like you have to put the coffee in a cup straight out of the freezer. Coffee shops and gas stations provide STYROFOAM cups to help keep the heat IN. It's gonna stay hot for a few minutes people, trust me. Plus, the caffeine is still going to work whether the coffee is 200 degrees or 50 so why give our tongues second degree burns in the process. As it is I have to wait a good 10 to 15 minutes before I even dare take my first sip and even then it it with a very hesitate slurp.

Because it doesn't take very much hot liquid to burn your tongue. And man, I hate it when I have burnt taste buds. While they only are around about 10 days and usually the tongue heals much faster than that, I would still rather just avoid the possibility entirely. (Even right now as I am typing this, I can feel the swollen taste buds on my tongue from yesterday's white chocolate caramel fiasco from the Shell station near my son's preschool.)

So here is my plea to all coffee shops, restaurants, gas stations and any place else that sell coffee: Turn your pots down a few degrees will ya? It is tough to get repeat customers if all their tongues have burnt off. Or at the very least start offering ice cubes with each purchase.

I will probably take you up on it ...