At least they are dressed right?

Should I feel bad that it is 11:30 in the morning and my girls are still in their pajamas? It is summer vacation after all and they are playing inside and everything. (I wouldn't knowingly let the kids play outside in their pjs.)

Plus they are all playing nicely in the basement together which let me tell you is RARE. So why upset things? Why rock the boat? Why upset the apple cart?

Why risk getting screamed at?

Because peace harmony and most of all quiet are very precious in this house and I would have to be some kind of masochist to knowing go into the lion's den and risk the wrath that is ...

You probably think that my kids are the worse human beings on the planet. That or I have extremely low tolerance for kid behavior. OK, I may be exaggerating a bit, but this summer has been eye opening for me.

And now I illustrate: I just brought all the kids up to eat lunch and a fight has broken off as to who the top half and who got the bottom half OF A BANANA! I am not joking either I just had to fib to my youngest and tell her she also go the top half  of the banana - even though it really went to my son. (Never mind that I have explained to them time and again that the top half and the bottom have LOOK EXACTLY THE SAME!)

Ahh summer ... I'm not really looking forward to school starting, but I'm not necessarily dreading it either ...

I know it's been awhile, but if you still like what I have to say (brief as it is today) click the Top Mommy Logo at the top and vote for me. Next time I write more - a bit distracted today ...
 

Drum roll please ...

I have been hesitant to write this post for awhile - didn't want to jinx myself.

But it has been almost three weeks now, so I think we are in the clear.

Drum roll please ......

I am proud to announce that the Gray family is officially ..... DIAPER FREE!!!!















(Thought I was gonna say something else for a second there didn't ya? Probably scared a couple of you - including my husband!)

Hey, being diaper free is no small thing. We have been buying and changing (and buying and changing) diapers and pull-ups for seven and a half years now. That's a long time. Sometimes I thought we were never going to get there. Many times in fact. While I was assured by every parent with older kids I met that "it will happen," and "they won't go to college wearing diapers," I wasn't so sure. There were brief moments of shear frustration that I thought MY child would be the first college freshman in Dora Pull-ups (provided they made some in her size).

I will freely admit that I am a bad potty-training parent. There are some parents I know (or have been told about) that are great at it. They can train their child like in 10 minutes or a half a day or something really obnoxious like that. Some parents who take little potty chairs wherever they go for their child. Some parents who let their child run around the house naked and go whenever wherever to figure out when and where to properly go.

I was not one of those parents. I am not condemning those parents - if those methods work for you that's great. I was not up for that. I was too forgetful/lazy/grossed out to do that. I really hate cleaning up potty messes so the idea of letting my child make them ON PURPOSE instead of accidentally was not appealing.

Plus I'd get frustrated and give up easily. I would try with my kid for a few days, but if they were being exceptionally stubborn (like sitting on the potty for 20 minutes with no result only to have them go on the floor five seconds after they stood up) I would end up putting them back in a diaper by the end of day two. I was just an inconsistent frustrated potty trainer. It's really a wonder they became potty-trained at all.

It didn't help that I have three extremely strong-will children either. (Cough, cough, I have no idea where they go THAT from cough, cough). The candy bribes didn't work, the "potty prizes" didn't work, even the threat of not being able to go to preschool (which my youngest wanted more than anything) was not enough to get her to go. She was gonna go when she was good and ready damnit and no parent, grandparent, teacher or pediatrician (hey, I'm not ashamed, I was grasping at straws here) was going to push her before she was ready.

But now we've cleared that hurdle. For days my husband and I would look at each other and ask "are we over the hump? Is she really potty-trained now?" We kept expecting a back slide, but so far none have come. I do expect an accident or two - that's just natural, but I think I can let out the deep breath I have been holding in for the past few weeks (and that is not just from being at the receiving end of a messy diaper).

So, no more diaper bags to pack. No more calculating the number of diapers I might need on any given outing based on duration away from the house (I should only need three, so I'll take six). No more panic when I realize I only have two wipes left and my kid is making that "funny face" under the slide at the playground.

Now it is replaced with the panic of "can we get to the bathroom in time?"  And thoughts like "She should only need two pairs of underwear for this trip - I'll pack six. Can she hold it until the rest stop or do we need to pull off on the freeway?"  

But I will take those worries over a messy diaper any day.

Sorry for all the potty talk, but if you wouldn't mind clicking on the Top Mommy Logo at the top and voting for me I promise my next post will be completely void of the word "potty." Thanks!

Seven lessons I learned the hard way - but at least I learned them ... I think ...

Do you even wish you could go back to your younger self, take a firm grasp of your shoulders and just shake the living daylights out of your pipsqueak of a self?

Well, I do.

I recently turned 35. While I know that still may seem young to some people I do not consider myself to be young anymore. Sure, sure, "young at heart" and all those silly little phrases we tell ourselves to trick our minds into thinking we are still 22 instead of 33 (or in my case 35, like I said).

Nope, I am no longer a kid and I'm OK with that. Everything is not perfect and rosy by any means, but my life and more importantly my SELF is happy and exactly where I want to be.

(For instance, I am staring at a Diet Coke right now trying to figure out if I should drink it or not. It will be tasty yes, but I will also feel bloated and disgusting for the rest of the day. Something I would NEVER have had to think about when I was 22. Is it worth it? Probably not ... Back in the fridge you go, tasty friend.)

So, being able to drink carbonated beverages aside, I really don't have much desire to go back to my youth - except maybe to try to knock a little sense into my 22-year-old mind. I don't know it all now and I most certainly didn't know it all then. I learned a few these lessons the hard way (OK, ALL of them) ... and I am continuing to learn them ...

• Be careful with "always" and "never." They are easy words to say and seem to float off the tongue in the heat of anger or fear. I have learned that few things are absolute in this world. This is especially true of relationships. As with just about everything else, think before you speak. In that same vein, be careful with the word hate. Hate is a very powerful word - it should be used sparingly, if ever. "I hate peas" is not the right use for that word. You may not care for peas, you may not like peas, but when you say "I hate peas" (especially as as adult) it gives off a juvenile tone. (Can you tell I don't like peas?) Words are very powerful - very powerful - and you can't easily erase the damage you leave with a slip of the tongue.

• Doing what is right is not always easy or popular. This was a tough one for me to learn and I credit my husband with teaching me that lesson. As a people pleaser by nature, I usually went along with the crowd whether I wanted to or not. Then about three years into our marriage, my husband was put in a very difficult position. Without getting specific about the incident, it was large ethical and moral error. While many others were choosing to overlooking this error (for a variety of reasons), my amazing husband knew what had happened was wrong and went against his values, so he chose to distance himself from the situation. It did not make him popular. It did make him admirable. While I will admit this lesson is still something I struggle with, I am lucky that I have a partner that can help steer me toward the right path.

• Honesty really is the best policy. Being honest is hard, because lying or skirting the truth can be so easy. But like the boy who cried wolf, once you are caught in a lie it can be difficult to ever get that trust back. So much of who we are is based on how we are perceived and if we are not trusted or believed what does that leave us?

• Know your audience before making sweeping statements or generalizations. This goes along with the not saying always or never. You never know who you are in the room with and I have more than once put my foot in my mouth by saying some bone-headed thing, which could have easily been worded differently (and without the taste of shoe leather).

• Don't be afraid to ask for help. When I was young, I used to think that I should be able to do anything and should automatically know everything. I thought that asking for help or not knowing something made me look vulnerable or silly or stupid. I have learned over the years that people want to help - especially those who care about you. No one is expected to know everything.  Not knowing something is not a sign of weakness - and it takes strength to admit that.

• You are an adult now - act like one. Sometimes things don't go our way. Sometimes our feelings get hurt. Sometimes we get embarrassed. That doesn't mean we have pout, take our toys and go home. Put on your big girl panties and face it. It can be uncomfortable, yes, but that is part of being a "grown-up." Unfortunately there are a lot of "grown-ups" out there who don't act their age and behave like toddlers when their boat is rocked. That doesn't mean you have to. The silent treatment never solved any problems. Neither did being passive aggressive. (Shocking, I know!) Let's just say what we need to say, shall we? Admit when we are wrong, own up to our mistakes and swallow our pride. It's not easy or fun, but it will make us better people and our relationships stronger.

• Appreciate the time you are in now because you are never going to get it back. I was always one for looking forward to the next thing. "I can't wait graduate high school ... "  "I can't wait to graduate college ..." "I can't wait to get a job ... " (what was I thinking there) "I can't wait to get married ..." "I can't wait to have kids ..." While I am glad all those things happened in my life, I know now that getting there was half the fun and I think I missed out on some of that fun because I couldn't wait to get there (if that makes any sense). I have learned to enjoy the moment I am in now. I know there are many more great things to come (God willing), and I don't need to be in a rush to get there. Small moments can be just as important and big moments if you just take the time to appreciate them.

While I would love to say that I have learned all these lessons and grown and blossomed from them, I must admit I am still a work in progress (see honesty - so I'm getting there). I know I should, but life, emotions, and the difficulty of change have tripped me up more than once. I'm working on it and while I'd like to say I am doing it to become the best version of myself, I think I am mostly doing it for my kids. So maybe when they are adults they won't look back to their younger selves and want to shake themselves by the shoulders. At least not about these seven things.

I sure would love it if you clicked on the Top Mommy logo at the top and vote for me. Thank you!

Sure I can blather on and on ... but can I write?

Writer's block can motivate you to some really not-so-fun tasks.

Like cleaning your toilet. Or washing the floors. Or cleaning your seven-year-old's desk.

Yes, I have done all those things and more today in my advanced stage of writers block.

But you are writing this blog, you say. So you can't really have writers block.

OK, maybe technically you are right (smarty pants) but see, this wasn't the writing for which I am blocked. The writing for which I am blocked is for a magazine I freelance for. (A wonderful publication called Simply Hers - you should check it out sometime at simplyhers.net.)

To be truthful, I'm not super excited about the topic. Plus the information has been kind of a pain in the butt to gather. And to top it off, I don't have my first line yet. Silly as it may be, I can't write until I have my first sentence hammered out. Sure I try, but it never works. Once I have that first line - it all seems to flow from there. Any other writers (or wanna-be writers like me) have a silly quirk like that?

So here, I sit, typing away, saying virtually nothing, do anything BUT writing that bleepin' story. I cleaned out the kids' humidifiers, which I am ashamed to say have been sitting in their rooms for WEEKS needing to be cleaned and put away. I went to town on the grout in the shower - which I really don't like cleaning (especially when you live in a house with hard water). I even cleaned the kitchen sink for Pete's sake (that poor Pete, he never get a break). I don't mean I washed the dishes in the sink, I mean I literally cleaned the sink. Got out the baking soda and scrubbed it down. I also dusted and vacuumed the entire house - including the basement. Now I'm tired AND have writer's block.

I guess I am proud that I didn't sit on the couch watching TV instead. Believe me I wanted to, but there was nothing good on. I don't care too much about Kim Kardashian or the rest of her famous-for-nothing family, I have been off Days of Our Lives for well over a year now and cooking shows just make me hungry. (By the way, did you know that when you spell check Kardashian you get suggestions for cardigan, dashing and Cartesian?) I am however currently on the time suck that is Pintrest looking at ways you can clean your jewelry at home.

Looks like my story isn't getting done today - maybe after the kids go to bed. Maybe after I have had a glass of wine (or two). Gotta get those creative juices flowing somehow.

Oh well, I usually work well under deadline.

It would really help get my creative juices flowing if you click on the Top Mommy Logo at the top and vote for me. You're the best!

You're never fully dressed without a smile - even a cheesy one

I have beautiful children. I really do. I also have photogenic children. I know I am probably a bit biased on both of these statements, but most mothers are, and most mothers are absolutely right that their children are both beautiful and extremely photogenic.

Well, I will admit my kids are photogenic, until, of course, you point a camera at them – more specifically when that lens is one of a professional photographer. Then they just look like they are in pain.

For the first time this year, my son had his picture taken at school. On “picture day” we talked about how he would smile (happy, relaxed), I had him practice how he was going to smile and as we waited in line for the photographer I had him practice a couple more times. He wasn't sad or nervous when he went up on the little platform, he jumped right up there. Then the photographer had him say cheese and this half smile/half grimace came over his face. Click.

So yeah, he has a beautiful smile, one that can light up a room, but for the remainder of this year the 8x10 that is hanging in our living room will show him looking like he's in distress.

That’s how it goes I guess. I am sure many parents out there have similar stories of smiles gone bad.  They do grow out of it as I have recently found out from my oldest.  They then however, start into a new phase. The I-want-to-make-a-goofy-face-in-every-picture-I’m-in phase. That or put bunny ears on their brother or sister.

While the oldest is making faces and the boy is looking like he is smiling through pain, the youngest doesn't want to be photographed at all. I have several pictures of her literally escaping the picture and others where she won’t even look at the camera. When I do get her look at the camera I end up getting one of those super cheesy grins, with all the teeth showing and eyes squeezed shut.

Better than nothing I guess. It’s still cute. Pictures of all of my children looking at the camera and smiling nicely are few and far between these days.

I would like to get some three year pictures taken of my youngest (since she turned three almost a month ago), but I must admit I'm hesitant. I have taken her to one of those places where they take a million pictures of your kid and then try to sell you 15 different poses in various sizes, plus a calendar, cards and of course the CD with every one of the million pictures they took of your adorable tot. All for the low, low price of … well let’s just say lots more money than I want to pay. I don’t need 200 pictures of my child. I love her, but come on that’s just getting obnoxious.

The only upside of those places for me, is that when it comes around the viewing the million and half pictures they took of my little darling, only about two are really any good. The photographers don’t even pressure me into the CD – then know the number of duds that are in there.

So we’ll give it a go with the new three-year-old. After all, I had three year pictures taken of the other two so I know I should.

Who knows, she may just surprise me.

Did this put a smile on your face? Even a painful one? Click on the Top Mommy Blog logo at the top and put a smile on my face. Thank you!

Like the proverbial chicken who has lost its upper most extremity

OK, hold on one quick sec. - I have to catch my breath ...

gasp, gasp, wheeze ...



There, that's better!

I feel like I have been running around like a crazy person these last couple of weeks! SO MUCH  STUFF TO DO. I feel like I am constantly behind. Right now for example I have grocery bags all around my feet needing to be put away and my youngest plopped in front of the TV (awesome parenting right there) so I can write this. Because I WANT to right this. I really like doing this, but it just feels like there has not been enough time to DO it. (Or, my fingers don't work, like yesterday. What was up with that? They still aren't working great today, but I will run spell check and get through it.)

Is it just me, or is May just a super crazy month? Every year it seems like it gets more and more filled with activities, practices, events etc., until BAM it's June. I mean what is it today - May 21? Wait, my phone says May 22. 22? Yikes - wasn't it yesterday May 7 and my youngest turned three? This weekend is Memorial Day right? Yup, good ... should be able to relax once we reach our final destinations. (Sounds ominous right? Ha, I'll just let you all wonder ...)

Yesterday I actually had a few minutes to decompress, so I went outside to sit and read (wish I could get into the book I am reading - just not hooking me yet). I had not been outside five minutes when my son came out.

"Mommy, you want to play catch with me?"

Whimper. I had just sat down!

"In a few minutes, buddy. Mommy wants to sit a bit."

"OK, I'll just play catch by myself."

AHHH - major guilt bomb!

Needless to say I got off my duff right then and there and played catch with my son. Busy or not, tired or not, I HAVE to do it. It's so important. I may be busy, but I can never be THAT busy.

Now I know some of you are saying, Sarah, Sarah, Sarah, you silly, silly lady. You don't know what busy is! If you took a look at MY life you would faint and sheer magnitude of things I must do in a day. And you don't see me complaining. And you are right, you are not complaining. But you ARE kind of rubbing it it my face how much more awesome you are than me and that is obnoxious which is complaining's loud cousin.

Is this busyness just my life now? As the kids get older and they are involved in more things (arguably things I sign them up for) will my life just stay this hectic or become more so? I already know the answer to the question so you don't have to tell me.

It's OK, I just need to come to terms with it and stop thinking it will slow back down eventually.

I mean it will eventually - when they are all in college ...

Don't be too busy to click on the Top Mommy Logo at the top and vote for me!! Many thanks!

Neither of my hands know what they are doing

I was going to post today, but my fingers and the keyboard do not seem to be compatible ...




(You don't want to know how many times I made errors in this sentence.)

More tomorrow - probably ... hopefully ...if my fingers cooperate ...

If I promise to write tomorrow will you click on the Top Mommy Blog logo and vote for me right now? Great! Thanks! Tomorrow - I promise!